Four Years Since COVID

Today marks four years since COVID-19 was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization. Tomorrow it will mark the four year anniversary of the longest Broadway shutdown in history. Though COVID-19 had been present for months before, by March 2020 it had manifested itself as a worldwide threat. Right now the theaters are open and the audiences don’t have to wear masks, and while COVID still exists it is not as severe as it was. Yet some things have stayed the same with me—I’m still underemployed and living at home and having trouble getting a date or even making friends. Other aspects of my life have changed for better or worse. For worse, the theatre company that was going to give me my first production has since ousted me and refused to give me another chance, which cost me a major social network. For better, I have found some survival jobs that provide some cash flow, if not much. Am I better off than I was four years ago this day? It’s hard to tell.

One thing about the shutdown, it taught me not to take live theatre for granted. This past weekend I saw two theatrical events. On Friday night I saw a student production of [title of show]. I had seen the show before just as theaters were beginning to reopen, done a small independent company in at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. So I knew what to expect, yet it was worth a second viewing to reacquaint myself with the jokes. What stood out to me was the penultimate song, where the characters agree they would rather be “nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth-favorite thing.” At one point, Susan recounts that as a child, she participated in a baking contest, entering Rice Krispies treats, which others found strange but still managed to earn one vote. She notes, “Let our show be the Rice Krispies treat,” and [title of show] is pretty much that, not the most elaborate or impressive dessert, but still enjoyable and has some devotees. It reminded me why I write plays and still pursue it as a career despite the Sisyphean struggle.

On Saturday night I attended Harvard’s 175th Hasty Pudding Show, Heist, Heist, Baby, performed for one night in New York at the Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College, and as one would expect from Hasty Pudding Theatricals there was a lot of broad humor and puns, men in drag, a swipe at Yale and an out of nowhere dance sequence at the end, plus the sort of traditional theatre music that isn’t common on Broadway as much as it once was. Not the sort of theatre fare that wins Pulitzers, still it was more well-assembled than some productions I’ve done and delivered the laughs.

Both of these shows have served to remind me of the communal power of gathering together to share a story. As I went home from the Kaye, I realized that with all the troubles that haven’t seemed to vanish, my life is a lot fuller than I have given it credit for. I may not have travelled as far as I would like, or achieved certain milestones of adulthood, but being able to enjoy the work of a long-standing theatre company without having to go all the way to Harvard, how often does one get to do that?

My Work History

One of the hardest parts of being on the autism spectrum is the high rate of unemployment and underemployment. Though the figures vary with each study, the estimate is usually given as 85%. Considering that the U.S. unemployment rate is currently around 3.7%, and the rate for those with a disability is around 7.2%, this is startling. There are many factors that contribute to this deficit, such as trouble in communication, failure to accommodate autistic workers, and biased hiring practices. All my life I’ve had trouble finding gainful employment, and while I know that the arts is a difficult career field, even for neurotypicals, it didn’t help in my efforts at securing a day job. Here are the jobs I’ve had throughout my life, not counting acting or writing jobs:

2003-2005: Periodicals Aide
This was the first regular job I had, working in my college library on work-study. It was a decent job, organizing newspapers and magazines, and I picked up a bit while reading them. However, I ended up leaving to devote more time to my senior thesis. At least I had some money saved up.

2006: Afterschool Tutor
I joined a program shortly after finishing college, however after orientation, I showed up to one session, and was no longer needed after that. This is pretty much a blip. After this I took a proofreading course and tried to find work as such, but was unsuccessful. Only one company said they would keep me on the list, and didn’t get back to me. To this date I’ve only gotten two proofreading jobs on theatre-related works, and the first did not end favorably for me, as I had agreed to do so in exchange for tuition in the author’s cold reading class, and after I admitted to her I was on the autism spectrum she gave me the cash instead, saying she couldn’t work with spectrumites. I used the money to take an improv course, still it doesn’t make such discrimination any more acceptable.

2008: Office Intern at Nonprofit
This was the same organization with which I fulfilled my community service requirements in high school, so I was familiar with the place. A lot of filing and sorting, and cramming papers into stuffed folders did leave a few paper cuts. I was paid by the hour, and would have done more hours had I not been involved with a musical that my grandmother described as “dreck” (and it pretty much was, but that’s for another post.) It was a decent temporary job, even if I did have one co-worker who kept saying “irrevelant” instead of “irrelevant,” which I found annoying.

2009-2010: United States Census Bureau
First I worked in 2009 as a canvassing agent, verifying addresses, then as an enumerator, interviewing people to help them complete their census forms. It was okay, even if going to the same building over and over was repetitive and not everyone cooperated, but still it was just a temporary job. I didn’t have a “survival job” after that because I was focused on getting acting work and qualifying for SAG-AFTRA, not to mention a failed attempt at grad school, so it would be years before my next major attempt at work, not counting day sessions at direct marketing (door to door sales) where the hours conflicted with my other interests.

2015: Fundraiser
You had to get up early to headquarters, where you weren’t allowed to sit down because you “stood by” your beliefs. After that the group was assigned to stand outside for hours soliciting donations for organizations like the Southern Poverty Law Center and Doctors Without Borders, and if you raised enough you got a commission, so . I tried it for a few days, but didn’t raise enough, so I didn’t make it. I made a second attempt and since these organizations have the same network, I again had to get up early and stand for a long time before going out, only to be sent home for not having the script down completely. Not my kind of acting gig.

2015: Energy Efficiency Consultant
I got this job through someone with whom I had acted in a rather lackluster play about Sierra Leone (another topic for a future post about my acting career). He said this was the greatest job in the world because you made thousands a month from just a few hours a day. The job was for an energy company where I would survey buildings to see which lights they used then draft a proposal as to how much money they would save by converting to LEDs, of which I would get a commission once the deal was closed and new lights were installed. Only we didn’t get to the last part. I worked there for over three months and not one deal on which I had worked got closed. Though it was the closest I had to a full-time permanent position, and I made a base salary ($12.50 an hour, which my uncle said wasn’t enough to rent a cardboard box in the alley), I decided there was no point doing a commission-based job if I wasn’t making commission, so I decided to quit and get a better job. Quitting was easy, getting a better job not so much.

2016-2017: Assistant Tempeh Maker
After almost a year of fruitless job hunting my brother got me this job through a friend’s dad who made tempeh. It paid even less ($11.00 per hour, minimum wage at the time) and required working once every two weeks (you couldn’t change shifts if something else came up), from 4:30 PM to 12:30 AM. I cooked and bagged beans, pured them into patty molds and cleaned up afterward. The best part was at dinner break, when we had some of our tempeh patties, still the late nights and coming home after 1:30 AM was a bother. My mother kept trying to boost my spirits by pointing out how unique a job it was. Yes, it was so unique it didn’t really have a title. Others said that making tempeh was right up my alley since I’m a vegan. I would remind them that a lot of people like burgers but they don’t want to work at McDonald’s. I stayed almost a year before going back to college to complete a BA in math.

2016-date: Poll Worker
At the job fairs people tell you this will earn you several hundred bucks in a few days. What they don’t mention is that the few days are over a period of several months and each workday requires you to arrive at the pollsite at 5:00 AM and stay until after all the ballots have been tabulated, usually after 10:00 PM, so you pull a seventeen-hour day. I’ve been doing this since 2016, and it’s okay for extra cash (especially since a lot of the job is just waiting around, so I bring a book to read) but not something I want to do full-time. My parents said I’m doing a great thing with this job. If only pretty ladies felt the same way.

2017-2021: Administrative Assistant
Someone in the subway who overheard me relate my employment issues to a friend. Despite the title it was more like a telemarketer, as I called colleges and seminaries and passed on information for the company, an online language program for college students. It was a bit shady but at least it gave me some income five years in a row.

2018-2020: AHRC
I actually liked this one. It was through one of my grandmother’s friends who attended an AHRC center in The Bronx. I was listed as a “creative specialist,” where I assisted with an arts program for developmentally disabled adults. I even made some art, and took up cartooning. Unfortunately it was only a few hours once a week, and being a nonprofit they couldn’t expand my hours. They said they had a theatre program, but I never got around to that as the center closed in the COVID shutdown and I was not rehired.

2019: Cirquador
I was with Cirque du Soleil when their show Luzia was presented at Citi Field. It sounds impressive to work for a circus, except I mainly worked the concession stand, making popcorn and serving snacks to the audience. It was fun, and I wouldn’t mind it again.

2020-2022: Online Tutoring
I had considered tutoring, and it worked for me, even though the pay wasn’t much. I even did some group classes in origami (it was hard keeping my computer camera in focus), as well as math and theatre, though suddenly the company let me go after schools were starting to reopen.

2021: Test & Trace Corps
As New York City began to reopen, I got a job as a contact tracer, meaning I just handed out masks to people throughout the five boroughs. It wasn’t that hard, just give them out and wait until closing time, or at least go home and come back in time to clock out (we had to use a phone app). At least until Hurricane Ida hit. Then we had to go to areas even further away from me, requiring a commute of two hours or so, and interview people in their homes to see if they needed assistance. Now we actually had to be outside all day, plus being in residential areas and not allowed to go past the front door, it wasn’t always easy finding a bathroom, unless you were comfortable going without fluids in a New York City summer (we were required to wear long pants, which didn’t help). One time I managed to go to the bathroom at a cheap motel in Brooklyn that smelled like cigarette smoke. Also, it was a bit strange that among my co-workers I was often the only white person there. The job only lasted a few months, and back to the hunt.

2021: Citi Field Kitchen
My folks think kitchen work would suit me since I do enjoy cooking, but working in a professional kitchen is a whole different story. Aside from being rushed (and constantly changing gloves), you had to go through a whole labyrinth of halls to get to the bathroom or the lunchroom or clock out. I lasted two days before a Mets game got rained out and postponed to the next day, meaning I’d have to be back at Citi Field in the morning, and since Flushing requires a lengthy commute from Washington Heights, that didn’t leave much time for sleep. Since I already had my contact tracer job lined up, it was no fuss quitting. At least I got a Mets cap out of it.

2022: Courier
I previously attempted a job delivering groceries on an e-bike, only it didn’t pan out because the phone app I had used wasn’t working. Turns out I had logged in wrong, but it took a few days to determine that, and I wasn’t kept for the job. This time I stayed on the job, and despite the misgivings of my parents I got the hang of maneuvering the bike. It seemed like something I could do…until we were all sent home from work early my fourth day on the job. Turns out the company had many Russian investors, and sanctions had been posed against Russia due to their invasion of Ukraine, so it went bankrupt. I related to my brother about how the crisis in Ukraine had cost me my job, and he replied, “Yeah, and students are getting killed.” Which, while true, is not what you say to someone who’s having no luck finding employment.

Currently I have two part-time jobs. One as a cruise agent, directing cruise passengers and scanning their documents. Decent, except when I have to work in The other is in retail, mainly in merch (and occasionally cleaning the bathroom). Neither job is full-time or pays too well, so my income stays small. My grandmother refers to such work as a “stopgap,” meaning a temporary solution until something better comes along. Temporary is taking longer than expected.

I’m still looking for a better job. I’ve been taking software courses and just obtained a Teaching Assistant certification, which will hopefully lead to better things. Still, adjusting for inflation, I haven’t made as much as $20,000 in any calendar year, and when I do my taxes this year I don’t expect that much, so I have yet to emancipate myself from my parents. I recognize that while I’m not doing well by NT standards, I’m faring better than most spectrumites due to partial employment. At least I have a roof over my head and some pocket money. Yet to keep getting on in years and not get closer to a career or a place of your own can be an emotional drain, especially as I fill out applications and going on interviews. As the saying goes, something’s got to give.

Who Counts, or Who’s Counting?

As this year’s Tony Awards are came up, there was debate over whether to remove gender segregation from the acting categories, as other theatre awards, such as the Lucille Lortel Awards or the Outer Critics Circle Awards, have done. I am in favor of this, however not everyone agrees. Some say it would ruin the Tonys. How? Did it ruin the other aforementioned theatre awards?

One argument is that degendering the awards would favor the men, since men are cast more frequently and thus more likely to be nominated. However, the solution to this is to cast more women, especially in leading parts. Another argument is that it would halve the number of acting categories and thus halve the number of actors who get recognized. True, however I should ask, if you have two categories for male and female actors and the winner of one did a better job than the winner of the other, why should they get the same recognition? If you want to showcase more actors on the Tonys (I would recommend the airtime instead be given to Best Book, Score and Choreography) I would propose new categories for the ensemble, for the sake of shows such as Six where the entire cast contributes equally. Others claim allowing multiple winners for acting categories would help, though others posit that this would lessen the victory.

However, one person I have encountered online argued:

“There is such a small percentage of people who identify as non binary and I mean a VERY small amount that it really doesn’t matter. Either they specify a gender to compete in or they don’t compete at all.”

So this person believes that actors who identify as nonbinary or gender-nonconforming should either decide whether to withdraw from competition (which Justin David Sullivan has done, as did Asia Kate Dillon last year) or pick a gender with which they might not fully identify (as nominees J. Harrison Ghee and Alex Newell have done) because the percentage of nonbinary actors isn’t large enough to merit recognition. This person followed:

“…it’s such a small amount that to overhaul an awards show because of them would ruin it. It would be different if half of the nominees were non-binary or even a third. Why does everyone have to be politically correct all the time?”

It was comments like these that prompted this essay. At what percentage does a group have to be in order to be included? Should they have to settle for exclusion or erasure for the sake of a status quo not meant for them?

I myself am a cisgendered male, however, as a member of the autism spectrum disorder community, which makes about one percent of the global population according to the CDC, I would not approve of someone claiming that accommodating us was unnecessary because we weren’t a significant amount.

Years ago I pointed out that when Ali Stroker won the 2019 Tony for Featured Actress in a Musical, she did not have as much access as she should have received because there was not a ramp from the orchestra to the stage. Those around me claimed it wouldn’t make sense to build a ramp because she was the only person who would have needed one. Does that justify the lack of accessibility?

Also when I changed a line to a musical that I had written because I realized it contained an ableist slur, my collaborator insisted it was unnecessary. When I pointed out that the word choice was ableist, they replied, “To some people.” As if “some people” were not a significant enough group to merit consideration.

The online commenter claimed to have not meant that nonbinary people don’t matter, it was only the issue of inclusion. Yet to claim that a group isn’t large enough to have their concerns taken into account is to essentially treat them as insignificant and therefore deny them humanity. Removing gender restrictions from award shows, thus allowing those who identify neither as male or female to compete on their terms, will be a major step forward in gender equity.

Humor Piece #11: “The Kennedy Center Honors 2023 White House Reception”

Biden: Good evening, my fellow Americans, and welcome to the White House. This is a time of year for joy and celebration, and hopefully to take my mind off of the fact that I’m trailing significantly in the polls behind someone with ninety-one felony charges. Some say I’m too old to be president, but really what’s worse, ninety-one years of age, or ninety-one felony charges? Well I’m not 91 yet, I was 78 when I was sworn in, and Trump will be that age next election, a few months older in fact, so apparently that’s too old for me and not for him, although most actuaries will attest that as of now, with Trump’s diet of junk food and lack of exercise his remaining lifespan is about minus five years. Enough of that, let’s not lose sight of the purpose of this evening, to commemorate John F. Kennedy’s efforts to champion the arts by honoring five outstanding members of the performing arts, and in keeping with tradition, three of those five are from pop music and one from movies and/or TV. Like that’s the only art form there is. We already have the Grammys, Emmys and Oscars. And the Tonys, but who watches that? Besides, The Kennedy Center Honors haven’t gone to someone working primarily on Broadway since it gave a whole slot to Hamilton five years ago, as if eleven Tonys and a Pulitzer weren’t enough. As for tonight’s honorees—Billy and Renée are Tony nominees, Barry wrote the theme to the film version of Grease, never mind how a disco song was inappropriate for a story set in the 1950s, Latifah was in the film versions of Chicago and Hairspray, and Dionne had hits with songs from Promises, Promises, and that’s about it. Still, all five of you are in exalted company, you truly are. Though it was a lot more exalted in the early years when it was a bit more highbrow.

First is Billy Crystal…did you know he’s the first cast member of Saturday Night Live to get this honor? Yes, he was on for one season when Lorne Michaels wasn’t even producing. There he played Sammy Davis Jr. and Muhammad Ali and Prince an old Negro League player…that sure is a lot of blackface. But that’s a long time ago, almost four decades. And he’s hosted the Oscars nine times, more often than anyone except Bob Hope, who hosted nineteen times, you’ve got some catching up. Of course Billy himself, with all the movies he’s done, has never received an Oscar nomination, and neither has Bob Hope. Sort of like being a eunuch in a harem, isn’t it? At least, unlike Will Smith, you actually get to attend. Poor Will, just because of one barely-provoked assault he can still win the Oscar, he just doesn’t have the privilege of sitting through a bloated, self-congratulatory awards show. Anyway, let’s not forget Crystal’s enduring legacy—having everyone keep saying “you look mahvelous.” Even I said that to Jill back in the eighties, it’s a wonder she put up with it. So let me just say…Billy Crystal, you look mah—no better not say it.

Then Renée Fleming, the people’s diva. Of course being the top opera singer in this country is like being the fastest swimmer in Greenland. Really, most Americans, if they wanted to see a hefty gal in a Viking helmet, would go to a comic convention. People consider Renée warm and down-to-earth, which makes one question her worth as an opera star. Come on, have you met one? Like Katherine Battle? Guess why she’s not the one here tonight. As for Renée, among her many accomplishments was doing a Top Ten List on The Late Show with David Letterman, who got this honor eleven years before. Guess opera and ballet aren’t as vital an art form as brainless pet tricks and manipulating deli owners. At least Billy over here did a better job of hosting the Oscars. Enough of that, let’s focus on Renée’s résumé. She was the first opera singer to perform at the Super Bowl, she sang “The Star Spangled Banner” at Super Bowl XLVIII. Because that’s how Americans take opera, for a few minutes during a brutal sporting event that’s mostly watched for the ads, and the sake of conformity. Might have been better remembered if there had been the old wardrobe malfunction, oh well.

Now the three pop stars. We have The Bee Gees, well the Bee Gee now. After Maurice died they were the Be Ges, then after losing Robin they’re the B.. G..s. They were considered the Kings of Disco, even though that music form had been around for a decade before, performed mainly by Black, Gay and Latin people, yet The Bee Gees brought it to the mainstream a way only they could have…by being an established white band. They were featured on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, which sold over 40 million copies, and with those high falsettos, startled countless dogs. Of course Barry’s written numerous other songs, such as “Islands in the Stream,” did you know that? Guinness World Records lists Barry as the second-most successful songwriter in history, after Paul McCartney, including writing or co-writing sixteen U.S. number one hits. Plus he produced numerous albums, like Dionne’s Heartbreaker, of course it’s the dance music people are interested in. I must say it is telling when disco is your best work.

This year commemorates the fiftieth anniversary of hip-hop, and like any music genre that lasts a while, parents are starting to like it. So it’s only fitting that we commemorate a real hip-hop legend—

(Ye bursts in)

Ye: Yeah, that’s me bro!

Biden: Mister West—

Ye: You mean Ye.

Biden: Well Mister Ye, you’re not the one being honored tonight.

Ye: I’m not? What the hell, man?

Biden: The Kennedy Center chose Queen Latifah.

Ye: Come on! What has she done that I haven’t?

Biden: I was about to say that. She broke the glass ceiling in hip-hop—

Ye: I AM hip-hop! I should be the one up here!

Biden: Well you aren’t, so would you please leave?

Ye: I ain’t leavin’, man!

Biden: Security?

(The guards remove Ye)

Ye: You can’t do this to me! One of these days I’ll be right here.

Biden: My predecessor Barack Obama was right to call you a jackass.

Ye: Which is why I’m with Trump!

Biden: Aside from being one of the first major female rappers, Queen Latifah as also been an accomplished actress and singer, even a talk show host. Like previous honoree Oprah Winfrey, except Oprah probably can’t sing as well. That’s all I can say, I know how Oprah is venerated so I’m not going to mention how much junk science she’s promoted. By the way, at the aforementioned Super Bowl XLVIII, just before Renée Fleming sang our national anthem, Queen Latifah sang “America the Beautiful.” Hip-hop and opera coexisting, and here they are again, a reunion. Of course that doesn’t change how this country cares more about football. Just like in school where the jocks get all the glory and the easy assignments, not to mention the funding. Even as JFK was a football player he would have preferred a country where the budget favors the school play and choir and the sports teams have to sell candy in the subway.

Finally Dionne Warwick, who like Queen Latifah is from New Jersey, that makes two Honorees from New Jersey and only one, Billy, from New York City, the Big Apple is falling behind. Dionne is best known for her collaborations with Burt Bacharach and Hal David, wait, how come the Kennedy Center didn’t give Bacharach the honors? Well too late now. They went with Letterman, George Lucas and Amy Grant. They went with Neil Diamond, guess there are a lot of Red Sox fans on the Board of Trustees. They went with the Eagles and Earth, Wind & Fire, and each of those bands had a member who didn’t fit the basic criteria of having a pulse, but not Bacharach. He was 94 when he died, and a lot of these honorees are a lot younger, in fact Stevie Wonder, LL Cool J and Midori were all under fifty but I suppose age is just a number. Apparently my critics don’t agree with that. Dionne also hosted and sang the theme from Solid Gold, and wouldn’t it be something to have the Solid Gold dancers perform at the Kennedy Center? And of course she’s known for touting the Psychic Friends Network, and I know those aren’t real psychics, still even they know Trump’s probably gonna beat the rap like rich people usually do.

(Ye bursts back in)

Ye: Did you just diss LL?

Biden: No, I was just pointing out that LL Cool J received this honor at a relatively young age. LL’s great.

Ye: But not as great as Ye, bro! And don’t be dissin’ Trump!

Biden: Well I’m sure a lot of people are.

Ye: Trump is the man! And so am I, only bigger!

Biden: Whatever you say, Ye.

(Biden motions for the guards to remove Ye)

Ye: Vote Trump and Ye in 2024!

Biden: I think we’d better wrap it up. Congratulations to all our honorees, if John F. Kennedy were here he too would congratulate you all. He’d also be disappointed that his nephew is an anti-vaxxer. Art does heal but not in a curing COVID sort of way. Everyone, even though COVID-19 isn’t as bad as it was, you need to get the vaccine. Our nation thanks you, and may you go on to inspire the next generation of performing artists. And if Ye does get this award someday, I can take peace in the fact that I will likely not be around to see it happen. May God protect our troops, you know it would be a lot better if there weren’t a war in the first place. Maybe after this gala I should get to ending a war. Then again even if I did I still wouldn’t win over the Trumpers. Oh well, on with the show.

Your Next Musical #152—Annie

Now comes a show I’m sure everyone will recognize, especially theatre kids. Some songs have become standard repertoire of any little girl who wants to perform, such as “I Know Things Now” from Into the Woods, every Disney heroine song since The Little Mermaid, and of course “Tomorrow.” I remember that song from acting classes in my younger days, as well as “Maybe” and “Hard Knock Life” (before Jay-Z sampled it). Yet even if you’ve heard these songs ad nauseam, hopefully it won’t turn you off to this musical. You’re never fully dressed without a smile, and this musical will provide one. Your next musical could be…Annie.

Authors: Book by Thomas Meehan. Music by Charles Strouse. Lyrics by Martin Charnin. Based on the Little Orphan Annie comics by Harold Gray.

History: Opened on Broadway in 1977, got great reviews, received ten Tony nominations and seven wins including Best Musical and ran 2,377 performances. There were less successful revivals in 1997 (239 performances) and 2012 (487 performances).

Synopsis: In 1933 New York City, eleven-year-old Annie escapes from an orphanage run by the cruel dipsomaniac Miss Hannigan to find her parents, who left her eleven years ago with only a note and half a locket. While outside Annie befriends a stray dog she names Sandy, only to be returned to the orphanage and separated from Sandy just as Grace Farrell, private secretary to billionaire (back then billionaires were less common) Oliver Warbucks, arrives. Warbucks wants to invite an orphan to his 5th Avenue mansion for Christmas and Grace decides Annie would be a good fit, to Hannigan’s dismay.

Warbucks is disappointed to see Annie, as he expected a boy, but finds himself taking a liking to her. Grace informs Hannigan that Warbucks wants to adopt Annie, after which she passes Hannigan’s criminal brother Rooster and his moll Lily St. Regis, who with Hannigan plot to exploit the situation. However Annie would rather be united with her birth parents, so Warbucks begins a search, offering a $50,000 reward. When the parents aren’t found, with Annie inspiring Franklin Delano Roosevelt to create the New Deal along the way, Warbucks decides to finalize the adoption as Rooster and Lily show up posing as Annie’s parents, “Henry and Shirley Mudge,” using the other half of the locket that Miss Hannigan saved. Grace, having seen the “Mudges” before, informs Warbucks, who finds that Annie’s actual birth parents have long since died. It ends happily on Christmas, as Annie accepts Warbucks as her father, Hannigan, Rooster and Lily are arrested, the other orphans are rescued and Sandy and Annie are reunited.

Cast Size: At least seven women, eight men and seven girls, plus a cute sandy-haired dog.

My Personal Take: Annie is a real feel-good show, with plenty of tug-at-the-heartstrings elements, such as cute orphans, a cute dog, and a happy ending at Christmastime. Yet it never feels cloying, and considering it’s adapted from a comic series, it does have a solid plot that even those who aren’t familiar with the comics can understand. We have Annie on our side in the first scene when she comforts the youngest of her fellow orphans, and later when Warbucks wants to adopt her, Annie would rather be reunited with her birth parents than come into wealth. Even later, when Warbucks hosts an adoption party, Annie decides that of all the people in the world she wants to invite the staff and the other orphans, as well as Miss Hannigan.

Yet it’s not too cutesy, this is the Depression after all, and Miss Hannigan is indeed a villain you love to hate, with some great villain songs in “Little Girls” and “Easy Street.” As for the music, it fits the tone of the era and the characters, with simple lyrics for the kids and wittier ones for the adults. “Maybe” does defy Cole Porter’s guidelines by starting with a ballad, yet is a classic “I Want” song, where Annie fantasizes about who her parents might be, knowing that it’s not certain. “Hard Knock Life,” which sounds like it should be the opening number, it a fitting lament for the orphans, as “We’d Like to Thank You, Herbert Hoover” bemoans the era’s poverty.

Of course it all ends happily, with the villains getting busted and good times ahead, and sure it’s farfetched that the rich and powerful would drop everything to help a little orphan girl, but if it can’t happen in a musical comedy, where else? So Annie will definitely convince you, as its signature song goes, that the sun will come out tomorrow, maybe even sooner.

Put On This Musical If: You want a favorite for children, especially young girls, possibly at the holiday season.

Things to Consider: This is a show done so often, it’s hard to stand out. Also be careful working with so many little girls—if they don’t bring out the Miss Hannigan in you, their stage parents might.

Different Versions/Sequels and Prequels: The 2004 U.S. National Tour Version, which also has a Jr. and Kids edition. There’s a sequel, Annie Warbucks, actually the second attempt at a sequel. The first, Annie 2: Miss Hannigan’s Revenge, which closed out of town.

Licensing Rights: Music Theatre International

Next time, back to the Peanuts universe…Snoopy!!! That makes two comic strip-themed musicals in a row.

Feel free to comment below. The full list can be found here, and on this page they are broken down by category.

Ranting and Ranking #4—The Disney Broadway Musicals

Love or hate Disney musicals, The Walt Disney Company has been a major Broadway fixture since Beauty and the Beast came to Broadway in 1994 and their musicals have usually had long runs all over the world and are frequently performed in amateur productions. Their popularity stems from a number of reasons, such as name recognition and a built-in audience of youngsters, as well as memorable stories with enjoyable songs well-suited for theatre. Of course, some are better than others. While Disney has numerous shows that are done in schools all the time, such as High School Musical, this list focuses on the nine Disney musicals that made it to Broadway, though that number will likely increase sooner or later.

9) Tarzan

The least successful Broadway outing for Disney, with the shortest run (486 performances, not bad for most shows but disappointing for Disney), the fewest Tony nominations (one, for lighting design) and proving the least memorable. Partly because the original film was not much of a tuner, with only two musical numbers, “You’ll Be In My Heart” (which I still can’t believe won the Oscar over “Blame Canada”) and “Trashin’ the Camp,” as most of the songs were background commentaries and did not mesh well with the action. The book is solid enough, with David Henry Hwang and thankfully the line “Me Tarzan You Jane” was not included, still it isn’t appealing enough.

8) Mary Poppins

As far as Disney adaptations go, it’s okay, just not so great. Some parts seemed off: Mrs. Banks no longer being a suffragette seems regressive, giving Mr. Banks a backstory wasn’t too necessary, and having him grandly rewarded for approving a loan for a factory project over a get-rich-quick scheme undermines the line “there are more important things than making money,” an idea that is hard to swallow coming from Disney. While it did incorporate more from the P.L. Travers source material it still didn’t quite shine.

7) Aida

The only one not based on a Disney film, live-action or animated. You have to give Disney credit for attempting to adapt an opera, of course making it family-friendly does mean softening parts of it, including the ending. Elton John’s score is catchy, but he’s clearly no Verdi. They did a good job developing the characters, still it comes off as sugarcoated.

6) Frozen

The cold didn’t bother Elsa but the pandemic did, as Disney pulled the plug shortly after the shutdown, which means even a mega corporation had to tighten its belt, or else, more likely, it wasn’t doing well enough before COVID. It didn’t add much, save for a nice song about hygge, which is something of which we could all use more, and a finale where “Let It Go” got a new meaning. Still, we’ll just have to settle for the Elsas around Times Square.

5) Aladdin

Still a fun show, and I liked how the made the Genie different from Robin Williams’ portrayal (how could anyone try to imitate that?) yet still memorable. However, some numbers, like “A Whole New World,” were not as visually impressive as they were in the film (on stage, we only saw the flying carpet) and Jafar wasn’t as much of a threat in the climax as he was in the film.

4) The Little Mermaid

It retains much of the original film, especially the Ashman/Menken score, and I did like how it had Ariel being the one to fight Ursula, giving her a more active role in the climax. However, the part about Flounder being “friendzoned” by Ariel was a bit uncomfortable.

3) Beauty and the Beast

The musical that started it all, one I really wanted to see when I was younger. It was pretty much the Disney template, putting the movie on stage with some tweaking and a few new songs, but it’s a good template, and still the tale as old as time, or at least 1991.

2) Lion King

Great puppetry and an impressive opener, but aside from that there’s much typical Disney silliness, with unnecessary comic relief and not-so-child-friendly lines like Zazu telling off Scar “You bucked up royally!” Personally it was one of the first Broadway shows I attended after the shutdown and I noticed that Scar, in garnering support from the hyenas by blaming the upper classes for their problems, was pretty much a feline Donald Trump. Well any villain can be easily likened to the orange one. Still it does have the same compelling story. Maybe it shouldn’t have beaten Ragtime, but it’s clear why Lion King has been running so long.

1) Newsies

It definitely improved the most on the source material, with a solid story, and it was a good idea to combine the love interest with the crusading reporter (though I’m sure Harvey Fierstein could have gone further in terms of female characters). Of course a story about the working class triumphing seems dubious coming from a major corporation, yet that doesn’t make it any less inspiring.

So call these shows cash grabs or theme park attractions, and talk about how you’d rather see original musicals, I’m not exception, still Disney is here on Broadway to stay. And I’m okay with that.

You can see my other rankings listed here, theatrical or otherwise.

Pet Peeve #2 Revisited (and Casual Ableism)

I’ve had issues with a certain Conservative Christian parenting columnist who has well earned criticism for being callous, smug, condescending and highly reactionary. He recently became targeted for an editorial where he declared his refusal to high-five children, or anyone whom he does not consider his equal, which he defines as: “over age 21, emancipated, employed and paying their own way.” Considering how the vast majority of MMIND adults are unemployed or underemployed and have to live with relatives well into adulthood because their only other option is the gutter or homeless shelter, we would not fit his criteria for adulthood, so this comes off as ableist.

Of course said columnist considers mental disorders unreal since they are not tangible. He has also repeatedly dismissed psychology as a secular religion that people take only on faith, even though he wears his Fundamentalist Christianity on his sleeve.

Aside from that, many neurodivergent people such as myself lack common benchmarks of adulthood such as getting married, finding gainful employment or living independently. This leads to feelings of inadequacy, especially when those far younger than us achieve these milestones. I’ve been told not to view this as falling behind, that life is not a race, and there’s no due date. Yet as time goes on, and such goals stay out of reach for us, I can’t help but feel left out, and those like that columnist with such rigid and hierarchical views don’t help.

To said columnist, if you won’t accept a high-five from me, would you settle for a kick in the rear? Even Gandhi would agree you deserve it.

Your Next Musical #151—School of Rock

Now that school is starting again, perhaps now would be a good time to focus on the importance of arts in education. Not to mention the importance of a great teacher. Such as the subject of this post…more or less. Your next musical could be…School of Rock.

Authors: Book by Julian Fellowes. Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by Glenn Slater, alongside the original songs from the 2003 film of the same name on which the musical is based.

History: Opened on Broadway in 2015, got mostly favorable reviews, received four Tony nominations including Best Musical but no wins, and ran 1,309 performances.

Synopsis: Self-absorbed slacker guitarist Dewey Finn is booted from his band No Vacancy for his showboating antics, right before an upcoming Battle of the Bands, as his roommate Ned, a meek teacher, and Ned’s domineering girlfriend Patty demands he pay his rent. After Dewey loses his job at a record store for showing up late on the first day, he intercepts a phone call from Rosalie Mullins, principal of prestigious Horace Green prep school, offering Ned a substitute teaching position that should cover the rent, and gets the job by pretending to be Ned. However the irresponsible Dewey shows less interest in teaching than the kids do in learning. When he overhears them singing in Rosalie’s music class, he decides that they’ll be his new band, that they dub, School of Rock showing them how to deal with their problems through the rebelliousness of rock, and has them audition for the Battle of the Bands despite being denied permission by Rosalie. School of Rock qualifies, but the faculty gets suspicious. Dewey wins over Rosalie by taking her out to a bar and appealing to her repressed inner rocker. At parents’ meetings the next day, Dewey’s cover is blown but the kids, whom he inspired to stand up for themselves, join him in the Battle of the Bands, where they blow away the crowd and impress their parents as well. No Vacancy wins, but School of Rock get called back for an encore and Rosalie names Dewey band coach as well as her romantic partner.

Cast Size: Two men, two women, seven girls and six boys, and an ensemble of at least seven male and four female. Also, Zack and Dewey play guitar, Freddie plays drums, Katie plays bass and Lawrence plays keyboard.

My Personal Take: School of Rock was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s first Broadway hit since Phantom, though it owed its success less to Baron Lloyd-Webber than to being based on a familiar property and the fact that it featured children playing instruments (there was an all-youth band in 13 but not onstage). Still, it did improve on the film by focusing more on how being in a band benefited the children, mainly by allowing them to be heard by their parents and other adults around them. Like a slacker Harold Hill, Dewey’s a dubious mentor who somehow betters the children he purports to teach, Also, Rosalie’s character is expanded as someone who really wants to let loose, which makes her and Dewey work as a couple. Also Patty is allowed to be more than just a nag (I have issues with films where responsible women are portrayed as shrews in comparison to the oafish male leads) and gets a chance at redemption at the end. However, the original songs, while they do embody the spirit of the musical, as in “Stick It To the Man,” aren’t as memorable as they should be, and as with other musicals based on movies, the pre-existing songs tend to overshadow them. But School of Rock does deliver on what the original film offered and then some, plus seeing children playing music live at a professional level is indeed a treat. Dewey proclaims, “We’re not here to win, we’re here to rock!” and while he might not be believable at first, School of Rock, even if not the best musical around, certainly rocks.

Put On This Musical If: You want to showcase a flamboyant male lead with a rock voice and children who can play musical instruments.

Things to Consider: The show recommends that in school productions, the teachers can play the adult roles.

Different Versions/Sequels and Prequels: The current Broadway version, in fact it was available before the show came to Broadway.

Licensing Rights: Concord Theatricals

Also, one more fun fact: during an early workshop director David Ruttura referred to Katie the bassist as Katie Travis, after a friend of his, and the name change stuck. Years later, David and the real-life Katie got married.

Next time, another great show for young people…Annie.

Feel free to comment below. The full list can be found here, and on this page they are broken down by category.

Your Next Musical #150—The Light in the Piazza

With Victoria Clark’s recent Tony win for Kimberly Akimbo, it seems fitting to do the musical for which Victoria won her first Tony. It seems like a full circle in reverse, going from playing the mother of a young woman who was unable to mature, to playing the disabled daughter who had to mature too quickly. So what better way to top off the summer than a vacation in Firenze? Your next musical could be…The Light in The Piazza.

Authors: Book by Craig Lucas. Music and lyrics by Adam Guettel. Based on the 1960 novella of the same name by Elizabeth Spencer.

History: Opened on Broadway in 2005, got good reviews, received eleven Tony nominations including Best Musical and six wins, and ran 504 performances.

Synopsis: In 1953 Florence, Margaret Johnson, a demure uppercrust North Carolinan, brings her childlike daughter Clara on vacation in Florence, Italy, where Clara becomes smitten with a handsome young local man, Fabrizio Naccarelli, who keeps showing up wherever Clara happens to be. Margaret initially disapproves until Fabrizio’s father, Signor Naccarelli, intervenes. As Margaret and Clara meet the passionate Naccarellis, Fabrizio invites Clara to see him at their hotel, but she loses the address and has a fit. Margaret, whose own marriage has gone cold, takes her back, as it turns out Clara was kicked in the head by a pony at a young age, hampering her mental and emotional development, and Margaret is afraid Fabrizio will find out. As Margaret leaves, Fabrizio finds Clara there and the two agree to get married right before Margaret sees them in bed together. Margaret whisks Clara off to Rome but Clara insists on staying with Fabrizio. As both families prepare for the wedding, Signor Naccarelli notices something on the paperwork and calls it off. Margaret is relieved to find his objection only stems from the fact that Clara is six years older than Fabrizio and persuades him to allow the wedding, where she finally lets Clara go to pursue her chance at love and happiness.

Cast Size: Four male, four female, plus an ensemble of at least two.

My Personal Take: The Light in the Piazza definitely stood out in the 2004-2005 season, as it was not a musical comedy like Spamalot or Spelling Bee, and its score lacked the usual A-A-B-A tunes, but that was to its advantage. The truly elegant score is the show’s strongest point, capturing Florentine romance with strong emotion more akin to opera. While the Italian dialogue and lyrics may throw one off, subtitles aren’t necessary, and it does draw on a much older theme, in shows like South Pacific, which is love between those from different worlds. Of course the real heart of the story is the relationship between Margaret and Clara, with Margaret simultaneously wanting to protect her vulnerable daughter and missing the sort of love Clara is presently experiencing. It ends in a bittersweet way, though Clara has a chance at happiness Margaret’s is still uncertain, what’s more she has not even informed the Naccarellis of Clara’s condition by the final curtain, has she pulled one over on them? Still, while the musical style may not be indicative of old Broadway, the story is. If you want a flashy laugh-getter with hummable tunes and big dance sequences, this show not for you, but if you want a heartfelt drama with an exquisite score, The Light in the Piazza truly shines.

Put On This Musical If: You want show off the vocal talents of a cast with two leading ladies—one young and one mature.

Things to Consider: First and foremost, exercise caution when casting the developmentally-disabled Clara. Also, it’s one of the more vocally-challenging musicals, plus the scenery and period costumes will be a challenge, though the dancing is minimal (just Guiseppe showing Fabrizio some American steps) You’ll need a cast that can handle the Italian dialogue as if it were their first language, why not cast native speakers? Finally, make sure Margaret and Clara enter together (the 2005 Broadway production hadn’t done so); the script specifies that Margaret never lets Clara out of her sight without a chaperone.

Different Versions/Sequels and Prequels: The original Broadway version.

Licensing Rights: Concord Theatricals

Next time, now that school is starting again…School of Rock.

Feel free to comment below. The full list can be found here, and on this page they are broken down by category.

Your Next Musical #149—You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown

I’ve been away from YNM a long time, with a lot going on including a work schedule and hunting for better work. And even when I don’t feel too fortunate, I can take solace in knowing that I’m not as unlucky as Charlie Brown. Which brings me to finally cover this Off-Broadway gem, and since school is starting again, it’s fitting to do a staple of school plays, with parts for young actors and a low budget. Your next musical could be…You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

Authors: Book, music and lyrics by Clark Gesner (the book is under the nom de plume John Gordon). The 1999 version has additional dialogue by Michael Mayer and additional music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa. Based on the Peanuts comic strip by Charles Schulz.

History: Began in 1966 as a concept album, then opened Off-Broadway in 1967 to great reviews and ran 1,597 performances. However, the show seemed more suited to smaller houses, so a transfer to Broadway in 1971 only lasted thirty-two performances. A 1999 Broadway revisal didn’t do too well either, running 149 performances, though it did receive four Tony nominations including Best Revival of a Musical and two wins, for Roger Bart and Kristin Chenoweth. A 2016 limited-run Off-Broadway revival (based on the 1999 version), with an all-child cast, failed to stick with audiences.

Synopsis: A series of vignettes with the Peanuts characters, presented as if over the course of a single day, focusing on the trials and tribulations of lovable loser Charlie Brown. He can’t work up the confidence to approach the cute little redheaded girl he admires, or fly a kite, get a valentine on Valentine’s Day or win a baseball game. Meanwhile cantankerous Lucy pines for Beethoven-loving pianist Schroeder, Linus can’t part with his security blanket and Snoopy imagines himself in other roles. Schroeder lets Lucy know how crabby she is, prompting her to take a survey that confirms is, which upsets her until Linus reassures her she still has him. In the end, Charlie finds the little redheaded girl’s pencil, and he and the others reflect on the good things in life, as Lucy admits, “You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.”

Cast Size: Four male and two female, with the option of adding an ensemble of other Peanuts characters.

My Personal Take: You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown captures what made the original comic so resonant with its audience, that these were children dealing with adult anxieties. The episodic plot does present a full portrait of the characters, and while the score does lack the sophistication of the Vince Guaraldi jazz compositions for the Peanuts television specials, it is still enjoyable and suits the characters. Standouts include “The Book Report,” a quartet encompassing different melodies and musical styles, and the finale, “Happiness,” about finding solace in life’s simple pleasures, which ends the show on an positive note. The 1999 arrangements are a bit more modern, and Andrew Lippa’s additions fit in nicely. such as the showstopper “My New Philosophy,” though “Beethoven Day” seems too pop-centric for the high-minded Schroeder. Overall this musical is not too flashy, yet sweet and lovable, like the comic strip on which it’s based, which has made this an enduring favorite. You’re a great musical, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

Put On This Musical If: You want to get children to perform their first musical and you want something that isn’t too expensive.

Things to Consider: The performers don’t have to be great singers or dancers, in fact such was part of the charm of the original production. The low vocal and dance demands (not to mention the shortness of the vignettes) make it apropos for elementary schoolers. However, it is best suited for smaller theaters. There are challenges with both the original and the revised version. For the former, younger Peanuts fans might not know who Patty is (not Peppermint Patty), so replacing her with Sally, a more interesting character, in the revised version was a smart move. However, the newer version, which is the one most performed today, might alienate traditionalists or purists.

Different Versions/Sequels and Prequels: The original and the 1999 revisal version.

Licensing Rights: Concord Theatricals

Next time, while it’s still summer, The Light in the Piazza.

Feel free to comment below. The full list can be found here, and on this page they are broken down by category.